"Each mistake teaches you
something new about yourself.
There is no failure, remember,
except in no longer trying. It is
the courage to continue that counts."
Chris Bradford
Whether or not to ride this century, for me the first century of the year, was a challenging decision, and one I may have made differently if the weather had been worse. I can't remember ever being less prepared to ride a century. Yes, I have stayed active through the winter. I eschewed Zwift but did do some spin classes. I hiked and I walked and I swam and I lifted weights. But I have not ridden outside much at all: my longest ride was only 38 miles and that was two weeks ago. I missed the two good days for riding last week visiting my son and his family. To ride could definitely turn out to be a mistake, and a painful one at that. (at least if any choice to ride could be considered a mistake) If asked, I would advise others to wait until they had completed a least a 60 mile ride before attempting the century distance. But there is no fool like an old fool I suppose. Experience should teach us to know better, but some of us never learn.
Before committing, I do email Thomas to see if he minds if I leave a bit early so as not to hold him up. It won't be much of a head start because the ride is the first day of day lights savings and the start time is sun up. But it will be a bit of a start. Thomas replies that he is just glad I am riding and I hope that he is being truthful. And so, with the temperature prediction of forties to sixties with wind less that 10 miles per hour, I commit knowing that I can always turn around at the first store stop if I find I have bitten off more than I can chew. Yes, it could be a mistake, but it certainly would not be the first one I have made in my lifetime.
The day before I ready my bike, checking the bike bag for spares and tools and adding a gel or two, something I rarely use but carry in case of a bonk. It is not that gels don't help, but I normally struggle to sleep the night after a century and adding caffeine from a gel does not help with the sleeping though it does with the riding. Before I leave to the start, I throw in a warmer jersey just in case. I will later be so glad that I did for the ride start is colder than I expect. I have found that with season changes, with both hiking and biking, I have to re-learn how to dress. Normally I tend to go too warm, but that will not be the case today.
After signing in, Bob Grable, Steve Rice, and I head out about fifteen minutes before the official start time and I thoroughly expect all the riders to catch us by the first store stop. As mentioned, I added an extra layer for it is still quite chilly and the sun is not supposed to pop out until mid-afternoon. But it is so nice to be on the bike again, at least for now.
My mind has yearned for the bike and the open roads and what awaits there. I have missed the conversation and fellowship and just the quiet calm of riding side by side with a friend who will share what happens and who may dream the same dreams tonight. A friend who understands how tired a ride can make a person and how challenging even short climbs can be if they have a bit of depth to them, particularly this early in the season. Cobb Hill comes up in the conversation, a hill I have only mastered one side of and have miserably failed at climbing on the other. Steve Rice says he has never mastered the other side either and I laugh bringing up the memory of Chris Quirey telling me how the hill was so steep that when he was forced to dismount, he began sliding down the hill on his cleats. Steve Rice talks of the first time he encountered the hill and had a similar experience while sporting Look cleats. He ended up taking off his shoes so he could walk up the hill and someone drove by, rolled down the car window, said not a word, but shook his head at him. His story reminds me of how much I miss stories from others during the solitary winter months. It brings back other memories, for that brevet was the one where the driver stopped and pulled a gun on Steve. So long ago.
I don't remember how Cobb Hill came up because I know this is not an extremely hilly course, still I am surprised when my Wahoo tells me there are only seven climbs for the day. I blithely and naively believe it. Later, near the first store stop, it will tell me I have finished riding. I have to re-load the course to find there are 19 climbs for the day. The new Wahoo occasionally does this and it is quite annoying. It has been over a year ago they said they were working on a fix for the issue. Obviously, they have not been successful. But I will continue to use the Wahoo until it gives out I suppose. I do love its simplicity even while missing Garmin's map which gives street names.
I also made the switch to a Fit Bit Versa 4 over the winter from an old fashioned Timex Ironman watch. But I have found that it is virtually useless on hikes and bike rides. On hikes it is wildly inaccurate and on bike rides it switches off if you happen to pause at a stop sign, etc. Like anything new, I am sure there are things I don't know about it, but I can't say that I am yet sure it was worth forsaking my old Ironman watch for.
We spend the first of the ride in conversation, something that will become more rare as the hours and miles pass. When it is full light, I begin to notice the first of the daffodils in places. How welcome they are dressed in their bright shades of yellow which only emphasizes the green of their leaves. My eyes have been winter starved for color. Fields remain brown and barren and dull showing no promise of future fruitfulness, trees remain naked and stark, but daffodils promise that this will change. I am always so thankful when God decides to grant me another spring and the strength to watch it from the seat of a bicycle. I send up a silent prayer of thankfulness.
The worms, however, are something I am never grateful for while riding and bring back memories of brevets. The wet weather has drawn them out onto the road and there is no way to avoid them. They splatter my bike and my clothing and my wheels and even my water bottles. It makes me wonder how many earth worms I have unwittingly eaten during rides where they splatter everywhere including my water bottles. On walks, I often pick them up as the day warms and place them back where they can go to ground rather than die on the pavement, but on a bike I just become a worm murderess, however unwittingly.
We are not too far down the road when an individual rider passes us as if we were standing still. I don't recognize him as I don't recognize many of the riders here today. I know better than to follow my instinct to give chase: if I am to finish I must ride conservatively. About ten to fifteen minutes after, another group passes. Jon says hello as they pass. We will not see them again until the first store stop in New Washington.
We reach the store stop and I grab a quick drink to have with my homemade oatmeal bar. It tastes unusually good today. But we only pause and are ready to pull out when Thomas Nance and the group he is with arrive. Needless to say, fool that I am I decide to head on rather than to turn around and make it a 60 miler instead of 101. Steve and Bob begin to pick up the pace. I stay with them for a bit, but then decide it is too swift for me. I have not shed the expected layer at the stop, and I am glad I have not. Jon stays with me and we don't see them again until lunch. I am grateful for his company and he teases me when I worry about finishing telling me I will be singing before we are through. And indeed, I do sing a bit later, when the sun pops out, and he teases me about that as well. I try to remember to drink.
At my age I am already at risk of stroke, and dehydration ups that risk for anyone. After Lloyd's stroke and seeing that of others, particularly my aunt who lay for a year or longer unable to talk or move, I am fearful of being left so helpless whereas I was not when I was younger. Perhaps, as is often said, ignorance is bliss, at least in some areas. Or is it youth thinking that things could never happen to them, only to others. Maybe even getting old is that way. We think it will not happen to us. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and wonder how I ever got this old. And why. Why me and not somebody else? I remember my mother, who outlasted all her siblings and many of her friends by a number of years, telling me that it is not always a gift to be the last one left. But then, who really wants to die unless they are in pain or the throes of depression?
Jon and I eat at McDonalds. As always, I remain amazed at how popular it is because the food just is not very good and it is not cheap. The woman taking my order looks years older than me, weary and beaten down by life. I think how fortunate I am that I was able to retire and not have to continue going to work when age had gripped me tightly. Bob comes in asking if we are about ready to leave. We are and head out together though I have told him to go on. He needs to get back and I have, as Jon often says, all day. There is a comfort in knowing that if I do fall back, Thomas and the rest of the group are still back there and will sweep me up. But my fear of being the chubby anchor never materializes. The four of us will finish the ride together. The sun begins to come out and while I initially wondered if taking off a layer at lunch was wise, in only a few miles I am glad for disrobing. A few minutes of misery in exchange for future comfort. A lesson cycling teaches us if we ride for long.
The third store stop is absolutely disgusting outside with bird droppings on the chairs and tables and scraps of food (at least I hope that is what they were) just set outside. The sad part is it could be a lovely stop with the outside area and the tables. But it would take soap, water, and elbow grease. We don't linger overly long before striking back out.
When we cross 62, my legs and I are ready to be done, particularly when there is anything that even remotely resembles a hill. They are not failing me yet, but they are consistently grumbling about the demands I am placing on them. I think briefly of how one day, if I continue to challenge myself, or even if I don't, they will sputter and give out and fail to respond when I ask them to; will I consider that a mistake in judgement or will I be glad that I still made the attempt? Was Dylan Thomas right, should we "not go gentle into that good night?" I suppose I will not know the answer to that question until it happens. I just hope that I have the strength of mind to continue to challenge myself, to have the courage to plunge onward without letting fear of failure hold me captive. I have failed at so many things, I should be a pro. But I also have had my share of successes. One builds on the other perhaps. . I think when it happens I will just feel truly old and sad. I hope I also feel that it was not a mistake to continue for as long as this body I was blessed with allows me to.
I know from doing this course previously, this stretch after crossing 62 always seems as long as the entire century: the car seems an eternity away. But eventually we arrive. I sign in and go home. We are about an hour behind the first rider and about a half hour behind the second group and there is still a group out. Somehow, I survived and never had to call my daughter to rescue me. So I smile as I get in my car and head home to rest and prepare for the coming riding season, mentally and physically. It is good to be back in the saddle, but I am ready to put the bike away until tomorrow.
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