In Anticipation

 "If life were eternal, all interest and anticipation 

would vanish.  It is uncertainty which lends it 

fascination."

Yoshida Kenko

Today I can almost believe that it will soon be warm again and that green will seep into the waking world.  Today the sun is shining. There is no warmth to it, but it is still there, a bold reminder of what will be. Despite the strong wind and cold, I throw my leg over the saddle and take off on my bike anticipating the battle I know is about to happen in a way that I have not for quite a while.  Today the world is beautiful in a way that it has not been for awhile. Sun makes such a difference. I notice the maple trees beginning to bud out, tentatively, also anticipating the spring, the sap beginning to flow as they ready themselves.  It is not raining for the first time in what seems to be months and I have a bike trip to look forward to and plan for, something new to anticipate.

I have been invited to go on a week-long bike tour and I am worried and excited at the same time.  Have I bitten off more than I can chew?  Yes, I have done multi-day rides before, rides with much longer mileage, but mostly they have been sagged.  Those that have not been sagged have been of short duration if not short length.  For this trip, I will need more than a carradice to carry what needs to be carried.  And what does need to be carried?  Never before have I needed a sleeping bag on a biking trip. I know I will need to battle my tendency to over-pack.  I don't know most of the people I will be traveling with and will feel the extra pressure of being sure I am not an anchor or a pest or a bother.  But I am so looking forward to the newness of the experience, to new faces, new sights, new smiles, new experiences.

The invite came a good time for me, the month of February, still a hard one as it contains not only Valentine's Day but my anniversary.  Still, there is value in remembrance.  We all  like to feel that someone treasures us and holds us dear.  While he was here, I held him dear as he did me.  Yes, there is value in that that far exceeds my ability to translate.

During the short ride, I think of all these things and it makes fighting the wind a bit easier on the way out.  On the way back, I am a tail wind hero, riding effortlessly as if  I have lost none of my fitness over the long, dreary winter.  Not a cold winter, just a dreary winter.  I pray that this year God grants us a spring and not quite so much water as last year.  And I pray that I enjoy the upcoming trip, that I make new friends, that I have new experiences to hold onto.  That I anticipate and my anticipation is fulfilled. It is good to look ahead with excitement.