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Thursday, January 21, 2010

PBP 2007 6

My saga continues, this time to try to get my mind off of the day and the doctor that left us hanging by not coming to tell us our options as promised. His failure to show worries me. Was there another emergency or does he not know what to do? My husband is stable, but not well. There is a grayness to his complexion that I do not like, and his blood is so thin that any prick leaves it flowing. Though he will not admit it he is frightened, and I am frightened and not afraid to admit it. He sent me home to get some sleep. It gives me a chance to drop the face I maintain there and cry. If and when they decide what to do or what they can do, I will be staying down there most nights until he is stronger, if he gets stronger. God must give me strength because I am a weakling and a coward in the face of this nightmare. There are things I need to say to him, but there is such finality in words and I can't yet go there. But onto Paris, a place I perhaps should not have gone
After lunch we head to Notre Dame. I believe that I read Hugo's "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" when I was younger, but I barely remember the story. There are gargoyles and wonderful carvings and statutes. The towers lift one upwards towards the heavens, and I am sure that was there intent. There are tourists everywhere dressed as brightly as any cyclist. Birds gather in flocks hoping for a spare crumb or two. And who do we run into but my nephew, Chris, and his wife, Dian. I knew they were in Paris and that they wanted to meet, but who would have thought that we would meet like this. I am glad because it takes the pressure off of me to try to meet prior to the ride. We talk about possibly meeting for meal, but we know it probably won't happen. I remember Chris when he was a small child before his mother's accident. So many years ago, yet just like yesterday. Everyone is getting tired at this point, but we decide to go to the graveyard. Alex recommended this to me. I am not a Jim Morrison fan, but he told me the graveyard had other things much more wonderful.

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